Being a mother

Being a mother

I'm a Mom. Since my second child, this statement has taken on its full meaning. Not that I did not feel like a mom before giving birth to my second child, but because this path has continued to deepen significantly. I am a perfectionist, which despite the good sides of this trait of personality; can be very invasive at times and can be a huge weight for the people who surround me.

So for my first kid, I had read all the books on maternity that came across my way. The birth, psychologically very difficult in my case, was also hard on my body as I took a long time to recover. I was tired, not to say exhausted, but I was determined to be the best version of myself, to be an example for my child. Actions that were trivial in the past became subjects of in-depth analysis in order to feel good in every decision that I made. I burnt myself out. It was a long process, but on the way I also learned a lot about myself. The biggest job was to accept my limits and to let go: I would not manage to do everything, do everything perfectly, to control everything. Fortunately, when I went back to work, I was allowed to do fewer hours. . So I tried, for two and a half years, to find balance between my couple, my family, my social life, work and sleep. Then my second child was born. Stronger from my previous experience, I knew what to expect: the worst. Yet, despite having a childbirth far from the image I had in my mind, psychologically and physically it was easier.

Easier because I was not in the unknown. I was determined to make the most out of the time off work that life offered me.  To make every moment with my children count. To live in the present moment. Extensive analyzes had been made the first time around, I could now follow my instinct and trust life. Housekeeping and the grocery could go to hell! I needed a nap at the same time as baby? I would take a nap at the same time as baby! I no longer felt the pressure to be perfect, nor to feel guilty about being at home and not performing the daily tasks. I let myself be submerged by love! Life suddenly made sense. I invested in my family life and I gave my time to my community. I enjoyed every minute and was appreciated in return. I then understood that I needed this in my life, to find balance, to be well with myself and others. That makes me, I think, a better person. During this personal quest, I also discovered that I was a right brain in a left brain world. This discovery took away an incredible weight; it allowed me to understand why I was always offset from the reality of the majority. I could then, in turn, understand this other reality parallel to mine.

Of course, in an ideal world, money does not pose a problem for this new perspective. Unfortunately, the system in which we live creates some obstacles. So, whilst I may be) working to realize the dream of someone else, this might as well be in accordance with my own values. For my part, I need a warm, stimulating, creative environment in which I learn and where I can help others. I want to make a difference in the daily lives of people, even if it is only the daily life of my co-workers. I believe I am an asset for an employer and I appreciate an environment full of transparency and where pettiness has no place. I am an idealist, you say? Maybe, but I think it's possible to love our job, in fact I even think it's essential. It makes us better humans and THIS is the example I want to give my children.

Josianne Laurin